 It depends on the situation.
If I know someone has said something bad about me, I first assess if it matters. Will it affect my life in a negative way. If not, then who cares? However, if it is affecting my life, I will approach them abruptly, but without any anger or any other emotion. Then, I will stand just a little to close for their comfort and look directly into their eyes completely focused on them and ask without emotion why they are talking about me. This approach does many things. It throws them off guard because it was sudden. It intimidates them only slightly so they answer more honestly. Also, the complete focus looking into their eyes doesn't allow them to think of excuses. The most important thing is to make sure you do not look or act emotional, but only curious. This prevents them from attacking and confuses them enough to make them really be truthful. I learned all this from being a doorman. I never had to get physical and they always did what I said. It doesn't matter how much bigger they are as long as you are emotionless.
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