Both, I reckon. First you take 100% responsibility for how you are creating the situation, take a look at how this person is your mirror buddy, and see what way of being would work better. Then you present yourself as a person who deserves to be treated well -- because you have already done that by taking 100% responsibility for your own well-being.
If you do the vice-versa and start with "teaching" people how to treat you without first taking 100% responsibility, it will come up empty and unconvincing to the other person -- like a little bantam rooster saying, "I do SO deserve to be treated well!" when it's clear he doesn't really believe it.
Do you have a specific incident in mind?
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