I don't know where Steve's list is, so I don't know if this was on it:
Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Even though it's written for couples, I read it when I was single - very single, not even looking - years ago. This book did more to clarify for me what I wanted in a partner than anything else I'd ever read or thought about. It brought about a level of consciousness that I hadn't experienced before, in terms of relationships. It was healing just to *read*.
And the
Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
How to speak your partner's language, so they feel your love. Very eye-opening when I read it. You mean not everyone sees a bag of M&Ms and some really good sex as love? Go figure.