[audioartist]

for the last 3-4 years i had been very obsessed with music and sound to the point where it took over most of my waking thoughts, consciousness and even my dreams

in some ways it was very negative, i broke up with my girlfriend and my head was always in the clouds

but in other ways it was very positive, a huge output of songwriting and alot of aquired talent

the band i had that drove my obsession broke up...my girlfriend left the country, my degree finished, my songs dried up and i turned to self help books

i feel they've been very beneficial in lots of way but i also feel its been replacing my music obsession

im writing less and my daily thoughts are jumbled bits of advice i repeat to myself to try to stay calm and happy

im starting to feel like i cant stop these patterns....

i dont know if all these rapid thoughts are making me feel better or worse, i dont have a job at the moment and have moved to a new area, i dont have much (friends, things to do, activities) to take my mind off of the self help advice going round and round in my head

its making me anxious and ive started developing a twitch below my left eye

can self help be bad for you?

i guess i just need to get out more and stop thinking all the time

its a habit thats hard to break...

occasionally the self help works and i reach moments of relaxed bliss but they're becoming rarer

im not sure what my point is but in the spirit of many people around here, i think i just wanted to let something out

thanks

lew