Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerlilly  And it makes me miserable, cause they are nice fellows and I can see that they're unhappy and their lives don't really work the way they want to and I want to help them and I do care, on the other hand there's a strong drive in me to be happy myself and not get sucked up into their world, and I know I'll be lots happier without them, yet I feel cruel and unfeeling in pushing them back out of my life again and saving my own butt. |
That's a lovely sentiment. Unless you have amazing strength, these nice fellows will suck you into their world. You aren't going to cultivate the strength, that is there (because you can articulate your fears clearly), by letting them in.
Don't feel cruel and unfeeling. If you stayed through the clingy-ness, something more fundamental would likely cause a problem, and then you would cause them sadness. The fact that you care enough to question actions demonstrates you feel.
Ask yourself are you strong enough to be honest with them, and tell them what the problem is. The saying "cruel to be kind" comes to mind. They may be in denial and become angry. Leave them out of your life. On the other hand they might take the red pill... Just please be sure that you are telling them because it will primarily help *them*, and helping yourself is just a side effect.
Just a thought though. Maybe you are worth those attentions. Maybe you are the most special woman this man has ever met, and he doesn't want to miss a chance by being a coward (this is, of course, a question of balance, and if by this point he could not know you beyond the superficial, it is needy behaviour).