[jeff3]

My thoughts on this are that if you are within their sphere or they are within yours it is because of "some" shared belief, programming, whatever you wish to call it. If you are truly that different from someone else and have no commonalities, you will cease to be in each others presence. In the case of family, that is your shared or common thread and if the only thing you share is a past then that will be your focal point while in their presence. That's why holidays and family gatherings can be so difficult for some people, they have nothing in common, yet they insist on traveling great distances to sit in a house full of others who have done the same for the sake of a bunch of people they wouldn't even talk to if they weren't related.

This also explains how someone can just disappear out of your life, even when you just "knew" you would be friends forever , your beliefs and thought patterns simply cause a physical change in peoples locations, they don't call or stay in touch because you have nothing in common, you no longer share a common reality.

ETA in the case like you mentioned where they do live in the same place and occupy the same sphere of existence they will simply experience it differently, we can "make hell of heaven or heaven of hell". When one begins to interfere with the other someone will move or a physical fight will occur that represents the mental conflict. This happens on a national level too, we call them WARS.