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Originally Posted by Elixir  Thanks for your reply, Remiel. I used to pretend to be someone else I wasn't, and I tried being myself but that didn't really work either >_< But I"ll take your advice and try to be myself more =) Thanks! |
One challenge I've found is that the people who have known me for a long while don't see a difference. Its frustrating as hell especially with my brother. With him its almost like I'm chained to my past when I talk with him. I refuse to be put in that position so he and I are barely talking at the moment. Others have taken a while to realize that I have made a change. I almost think its easiest for those who see me infrequently to notice the changes.
I'll give an exercise / diet example. So I've joined a gym and am doing taekwondo and hired a personal trainer for the gym. I've lost 2lbs per week over the past month and a half that I've been doing this. The thing is I don't notice it. Oh the measurements are different every time I have them taken at the gym with my trainer. But I don't see a physical difference. However those who see me once a monthish have commented that I look great and that they can tell that I've lost weight. Its pretty cool.
Personally I've decided to make integrity my core value. With a heart of integrity this means that all men can trust me and I believe I can be friends with everyone. Even when I disagree with them.
It may very well be that the people at your school just won't be your friend. This will change in college because you have a much larger choice of where to go and who you hang out with. Even if they still chose to not be your friend I'd still recomend being 100% real. Once that became normal for me I found it to be a huge boost in both energy in myself and connectivity with others because I wasn't maintaining a mask and a wall.
The only other significant thing I do is I accept everything. I may not agree with your viewpoint but I acknowledge it and I accept it as being your viewpoint. I can even find value in your viewpoint. The reason being is I don't know the full truth about pretty much anything. So if you have an element of the truth I want it. Even if your idea itself or viewpoint itself is flawed I can find some value in the truth in it. I also chose to accept everyone regardless of their choices in life. Who they act like does not mean that their core self is truely that way. They just are out of touch with that core self.
I don't know if I've communicated this well or not but hey, thats life. All I'm really trying to say is that I can befriend a drug addict, an alcoholic, or even a gay guy because I can understand that their choices probably stem from their past. I don't have to judge them and I don't even have to give them advice or make them change to be the way I think they ought to be. I merely accept them and encourage them when they decide that its time to change. In a way I believe I am a safe person to be a friend to.
The only thing I might advise you on is about giving advice (ironic I know
). I have found that unless a person is seeking it out and open to it they don't particularly want or like advice. I've actually changed the way I give suggestions (or advice) because of it. Instead of telling someone what they should do in that situation. I will tell them what I would do or how I see the situation. Or if possible I'll even share myself by telling them about a similar time that I went through and what I did in that situation. It still bothers some people (Like my brother) but thats ok. I find that people are actually accept input from others when they aren't being told what to do.
Well I hope this helps. Feel free to ask any questions.