For your last question I'd say... It depends on what you do.
I can't really give you any specific suggestions on how to make friends as that is influenced heavily by circumstances. I can tell you what I've done differently that has allowed me to make friends far easier.
A bit of background: I have aspergers. If you don't know what it is think of it as a slight touch of autism. During college I think I made only a couple of friends and really only 1 friend that I did much with. It really boiled down to me trying to be someone I'm not. I tried to be not autistic (well apergeristic? bah that doesn't sound right). I tried to be someone other people could like. And all the while I held back. I was deeply afraid that if I were to share the real me with people that I would be rejected. Being rejected was my deepest fear, my core fear if you will. Unfortunately because I was afraid of people getting to know me this made it so that I couldn't connect with people. On the one hand I was saying "Be my friend" and on the other I was saying "Stay Back! Go Away!".
It wasn't until I went to a seminar called focus that I came to realize just how badly I was masking my true self. I was so afraid of being rejected because I didn't like who I was. I was thinking my true self deserved to be rejected. And when I was able to realize that I was able to change the way I think. I realized that aspergers is a Gift and a blessing, not a curse. I was able to realize that I am me. No one else is the same as me and I am wonderfully and uniquely made. Pretty much my self worth changed from being in the hands of other people to being in my own hands. I then put my self worth in the capable hands of God. He defines my self worth. Whether or not you believe in God you are still more than able to take your self worth into your own hands.
After I took back my self worth I was able to regain my confidence. I now am able to connect with complete strangers. The other day I was in mcdonalds. I struck up a conversation with the worker who was on break. We had a couple of laughs and then her break was up and she went back. My younger sister then looked at me funny and asked me if I knew her. I said nope, then I asked her why she thought that. She told me it was because our conversation just sounded like we were best buddies.
Another time I was in an elevator and I said "Hi, how's it going?" but I was actually looking at him in the eyes and facing him straight on when I asked. The guy said "Its goi..." and paused. He then said "Its going good,... Thanks". It was at that point that I had realized the words that I had just spoken had connected with him on a level that was far far deeper than those words by themselves ever could. He and I still run into each other and its alot of fun having conversations with him.
My only advice is to be 100% real. If you can't do that then find a way to be 100% real with yourself first and put your self worth in your own hands. If you can place it in the hands of something unchangeable so your self worth never wavers then thats even better.
Good luck with your journey.
Remiel
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