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25AndJustBeginning · 07-22-2008, 12:51 PM

Lately I've been talking to my ex.

In fact, she came to me a while after we were broken up wanting to get back together. After seeing each other for a very short period thereafter she didn't "know" if she could "do what it takes" to make the relationship work as some of her actions were seriously called into question. So she wanted to take a week to think about it. Coincidentally, she was going to fly back home for this week.

At first I was supportive of her need for time & space. However, midway through the week I started feeling like she only wanted "time & space" to not be bothered while she was back home having fun.

I've talked to a few people about this and I'm really having trouble letting go of this idea. Am I just being a worrier here? My concern is that she wanted to have fun w/ no attachments & I'm definitely not ok w/ that if she's interested in pursuing the relationship. I know this is awfully vague but how does it appear from the outside? Are there any females out there who would have acted similarly?????????

Thing is, she's not much of a thinker and I really question how she makes her decisions. Maybe I just need to trust that she makes her decisions differently than I do? I'm really having trouble losing the idea that she basically didn't want to be bothered while she was back home.

Also, I question whether or not she's even ready for a serious relationship.

She has issues w/ her dad and, as I'm slowly realizing, she projects them onto me (whether it's justified or not). For instance, lying via omission is a favorite of hers. In fact, openness or communication in general are huuuuuuuuge weaknesses of hers. I'm starting to realize how frickin important these are to a relationship and I'm feeling really negative about the success of the relationship as a result.

Should I be patient and understanding of this or should I have standards for myself and move on? Perhaps give it a try but monitor this situation???? I can't help but be a pessimist and expect this to not work again. Is that valid or should I get over that and give it a try?

Thx in advance.

07-22-2008, 12:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
25AndJustBeginning Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 95	Is she ready for a relationship? Lately I've been talking to my ex. In fact, she came to me a while after we were broken up wanting to get back together. After seeing each other for a very short period thereafter she didn't "know" if she could "do what it takes" to make the relationship work as some of her actions were seriously called into question. So she wanted to take a week to think about it. Coincidentally, she was going to fly back home for this week. At first I was supportive of her need for time & space. However, midway through the week I started feeling like she only wanted "time & space" to not be bothered while she was back home having fun. I've talked to a few people about this and I'm really having trouble letting go of this idea. Am I just being a worrier here? My concern is that she wanted to have fun w/ no attachments & I'm definitely not ok w/ that if she's interested in pursuing the relationship. I know this is awfully vague but how does it appear from the outside? Are there any females out there who would have acted similarly????????? Thing is, she's not much of a thinker and I really question how she makes her decisions. Maybe I just need to trust that she makes her decisions differently than I do? I'm really having trouble losing the idea that she basically didn't want to be bothered while she was back home. Also, I question whether or not she's even ready for a serious relationship. She has issues w/ her dad and, as I'm slowly realizing, she projects them onto me (whether it's justified or not). For instance, lying via omission is a favorite of hers. In fact, openness or communication in general are huuuuuuuuge weaknesses of hers. I'm starting to realize how frickin important these are to a relationship and I'm feeling really negative about the success of the relationship as a result. Should I be patient and understanding of this or should I have standards for myself and move on? Perhaps give it a try but monitor this situation???? I can't help but be a pessimist and expect this to not work again. Is that valid or should I get over that and give it a try? Thx in advance. Last edited by 25AndJustBeginning; 07-22-2008 at 12:53 PM.