I may not be able to provide you a spiritual answer but here's a good
suggestion.
Rely on pain to keep you moving.
Quote:
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"At this rate I'm headed for failure since my overall pace is not nearly fast enough."
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Since you know you are heading into impending doom if you continue to work in some irregular cycles, use that as your starting motivation.
Besides having an intellectual understanding that you will fail, you need to understand it EMOTIONALLY as well. Think, feel, visualize what it will be like if you fail. I don't see why this is not a good motivating factor for you.
Last piece of advice: if you don't do something to reduce your irregular cycle of intensity and focus, then you are heading for trouble. Feel the pain that's waiting for you. What would your future hold if you can't break this nasty pattern right here, right now!