There seems to be a lot of issues here: race, class, gender, sexuality.
What strikes me the most - you don't like, respect, or accept yourself...so you're hoping to get all that from the outside world.
Have you read Eckhart Tolle's books? Power of Now and A New Earth. I suggest you read A New Earth, and watch the
10-part Oprah/Tolle webinar.
I've had years of both traditional and esoteric therapy, and the Oprah/Tolle seminar was one of the most significant aspect of my growth. I highly recommend.
Just do something! Don't just sit around moping, hoping the world will change. I think it was Gandhi who said, "you have to be the change you wish to see in the world."