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ScreamingDaisy · 07-22-2008, 01:30 AM

I definitely have a problem with lying. I fessed up to everything about a week ago to my boyfriend. I feel it's time for me to change. I know I've pushed people away and created a big mess with my lies. I'm just grateful he understood and was willing to forgive me. I felt that my love wouldn't be true as a liar, and I wouldn't be as genuine a person to other people. I haven't told a single lie in a week, which is huge for me... so I'm going to try and keep it up to make honesty a permanent lifestyle. It will also help now that I just started college, so I'll be meeting new people and making new friends.

Anyway, I lied about everything big and small to EVERYONE. When I started doing it I felt guilty. I did it to create some spontaneity in my life, which seemed dull. Some of my lies were serious and some were not, but all of them were manipulative in some way. I was changing what other people thought or did. I even lied about having a severe peanut allergy, so much that I got a prescription for an epipen and carried it around and avoided peanuts like the plague for years. As you can imagine my boyfriend was so surprised I had been lying that I had to eat a jar of peanut butter in front of him to prove it!

I never hurt anyone's feelings, but I guess I was also not having genuine friendships/relationships because I was deceitful. When I look back on the things I lied about or the stories I created, I think it was more of a release. I did try to manipulate people, but that didn't create as great a sensation as the rush of lying... I liked to feel the adrenaline and the risk of them finding out the truth. I think it was a release of my creative energy too. I'm a painter and musician, so it came naturally to feel so overwhelmed that I had to create something... which were lies.

In the end lying never helped me long-term. I want to try and focus on releasing that creativity in my art and music. It's gonna be rough, but I'm willing to be honest with myself and everyone else now.

07-22-2008, 01:30 AM	#46 (permalink)
ScreamingDaisy Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 3	lying I definitely have a problem with lying. I fessed up to everything about a week ago to my boyfriend. I feel it's time for me to change. I know I've pushed people away and created a big mess with my lies. I'm just grateful he understood and was willing to forgive me. I felt that my love wouldn't be true as a liar, and I wouldn't be as genuine a person to other people. I haven't told a single lie in a week, which is huge for me... so I'm going to try and keep it up to make honesty a permanent lifestyle. It will also help now that I just started college, so I'll be meeting new people and making new friends. Anyway, I lied about everything big and small to EVERYONE. When I started doing it I felt guilty. I did it to create some spontaneity in my life, which seemed dull. Some of my lies were serious and some were not, but all of them were manipulative in some way. I was changing what other people thought or did. I even lied about having a severe peanut allergy, so much that I got a prescription for an epipen and carried it around and avoided peanuts like the plague for years. As you can imagine my boyfriend was so surprised I had been lying that I had to eat a jar of peanut butter in front of him to prove it! I never hurt anyone's feelings, but I guess I was also not having genuine friendships/relationships because I was deceitful. When I look back on the things I lied about or the stories I created, I think it was more of a release. I did try to manipulate people, but that didn't create as great a sensation as the rush of lying... I liked to feel the adrenaline and the risk of them finding out the truth. I think it was a release of my creative energy too. I'm a painter and musician, so it came naturally to feel so overwhelmed that I had to create something... which were lies. In the end lying never helped me long-term. I want to try and focus on releasing that creativity in my art and music. It's gonna be rough, but I'm willing to be honest with myself and everyone else now.