I would recommend you stop trying. This is obviously a lost cause that is only causing pain to both parties involved. Real love doesn't revolve around pain and vengeance, only desire does that.
You are who you are, and she is who she is. It is nobody's fault that you haven't "succeeded." She didn't defeat you, she was simply being who she was. Would you ask her to be anything else? Would you really love her if she became other than what she was for you? Your victory would then come at the cost of destroying that which you had won. The same with yourself. You are who you are, and you can't change that for her, not for love or money or power. So your current situation is nobody's fault, because nobody involved could be other than they were or do other than they did.
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