Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruce Achterberg  You could always take 100% responsibility for what you post. Seriously. It'll do more for your personal development than you think. |
I do. I try, anyway. I was mostly surprised something like this could happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruce Achterberg I guess I don't try to solve people problems on the forums, but then, I'd rather approach the person themselves about the problem or somehow work that particular relationship out of my life. It's not always black and white, but usually things are simpler than they seem. Our thinking about them just makes them into big scary monsters that we must avoid at all costs (which doesn't really help much). |
I agree, but what I needed was input from people who had been through changes and come out the other side, and who know what it does to a relationship or marriage. These people are a scarce commodity in my life, and those I do know are single. Their choice of partners just evolved to suit how they were.
I needed confirmation that I was not investing in a lost cause, mostly. I know forums are not going to solve my problems, but forums are great for gathering information, which is what I was looking for.
I needed the courage to continue on with a relationship which had hit a very bleak spot. I have learned a lot since then already and have accepted that all I can do is my very best. And that there are limits to how I will allow myself to be treated. And that I must be verbal about those limits. And then time will tell.
All these things are harder than working this relationship out of my life, but I will only be able to do that if I can look my children in the eye and tell them I did everything I could do to avoid it. Divorce is not a good pattern to teach children.