It's not necessary to get to the very, very first incident; what's important is to reach the decision you made about yourself. Very often, the one you remember first leads you to remember earlier incidents, and those incidents bring you to deeper layers of the onion. Reaching the ones you can remember is as valuable as reaching the stuff that's still hidden from your view.
Don't worry, there are many layers! You will see them when it's time to see them.
I'm sending you a PM regarding our phone call. Meanwhile, keep looking for the decision that sounds something like "I am _____." I would invite you to try this on and see how it feels:
"I am harmful."
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