I think there's a difference between solicited and unsolicited feedback. When your ex offered to you his criticism of you, you were aware that it was at least as much about himself as it was about you. When you request feedback, that's a great time to practice being as accepting as possible, and as diligent as possible about looking for the inner truth of what that person is giving you.
That said, I think it's also very valuable to look for the inner "yes" of what unsolicited advice is saying to you -- as Byron Katie talks about, it's not hard to find the truth about yourself in other people's criticism, if you look boldly enough. Especially in a romantic partnership -- the hotbed of personal growth!
So what advice would you give to you, what "ideal self" do you see yourself living up to, and what inspired action can you see would be possible if you were to step outside your normal, habitual view of yourself? What if you were to "try on" being that friend you trust, and take a look at yourself from his point of view, and see what advice you would give yourself from this new perspective?
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