well I'm far from perfect and I realize maybe most of the time I'm not as open to feedback as I could be, but that's why I was being careful to ask from people and at a time when I felt I could be open to it and not bite their head off for answering my question honestly...
I remember one ex, unasked, told me his opinion was that I was socially clueless and too unemotional/distant- while yes it is his perception, I remember thinking that I found him too eager to join-up with groups and forget his own center, his own authentic personality, his own ideals/morals... and I found him too needy and overemotional- that's why I had to break up with him- so it goes both ways, we just had different values/expectations... so that sort of feedback isn't so helpful, because it isn't unexpected and I just prefer myself as I am- so I'm trying to ask from people I really respect.
I guess as far as what I was looking for, I was looking for overall general feedback on my personality and character, and for where I'm least measuring up to my ideal image of who I want to be (described above a bit, and the person I was asking is someone who already knows my values and who I want to be)... I didn't want to hear about the specifics of how I am in relationships or how I am at work etc because I'm not at a point to want to invest effort in changing those areas of myself specifically (though if they are changed as I overall try to be a better person, then that's good too).
Of course there is another facet in this I hadn't considered enough perhaps- which is that the friend knows and is trying to stop a bad habit of judging and cutting down everyone/everything he meets. This is why I believe he probably has feedback for me that he just isn't sharing, but also why he could be trying to hold back from saying anything even when asked... He has the personality to tell people exactly what he thinks of them, but also I think has learned from many bad experiences that it is better not to throw everyone's mistakes in their faces all the time, so maybe he goes too far the other way of just internalizing it all and being silently judgementally distant...
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