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Old 07-20-2008, 05:44 AM   #10 (permalink)
MaxLight
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ireland
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Excellant post driven1.

Also going to the mall as you suggest yourself 5IROB to talk to people is a good pro-active way of taking on this problem. I would be interested to hear how you get on. Did you read the book "the game" btw or in general any books/videos etc from the pickup community. That is exactly the type of exercise they recommend to give you greater confidence talking to girls.

At any rate I find most of the time if I clam up in a conversation it's because I care too much about what the other person thinks of me, or...
what I think the other person thinks of me.

Usually if I clam up it's because my natural flow of conversation has been interrupted as I become momentarily conscious of the other persons thoughts about me. Or I think "I'm doing well here, better not mess up" and that's it, I'm then in my mind and not myself and my conversation stops flowing.

The solution is not to care what other people think of you. I have worked on this trait a lot recently, it really is a cornerstone of awareness, and I have no trouble talking to people now.

The steps you and driven1 say are both good for learning to not care about what other people think of you. One other thing I found helpful is to think about or meditate upon the idea that other people are just as scared of you as you are of them, everybody wants YOUR approval...and anybody who doesn't will appear extremely confident and relaxed and you'll be able to talk to them anyway.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.
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