hey there
Just read through this thread and thought i'd offer my thoughts.
The Cloud, you occur to me as an intelligent person. You also seem like you want to do the best for the world and for yourself and that is great.
You occur to me as over-analytical and serious. I see in your profile you are involved in chemistry, (I do physics myself) and as a scientist there is a tendancy to think that all problems can be solved through analysis. This is not the case. Probably the most useful thing I found was seeing the separation between mind and self, if you can live outside your mind it can help relieve the "seriousness" of problems.
You seem to focus on your negative points with highly analytical breakdowns of their causes but dont seem to appreciate your strengths, even when relevant. For example in relation to your self-confidence you say you think you are worthless, but yet you have the confidence to come on here and be honest about your issues. You also believe they are not impossible to solve and that is a very positive and confident attitude.
I get the feeling you are harsh on yourself and somewhat proud of this, perhaps subconsciously you feel this is your greatest strength. But it's ok to put down your sword and interact with the beauty in the world, what are you fighting for? Yet your sharp self-analysis is probably the key to a lot of your success, so you dont want to give it up?
The solution is to analyse like you do, but dont take the "implications" of your analysis so seriously.
It isn't the analysis that hurts you but what you think they imply about yourself or your future... the analysis might be true, the implications are false.
btw I would be optomistic that you will have a breakthrough soon, you seem almost overdue somehow.
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