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Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina  When Erin sees me getting into something new, she'll often say, "Oh no... he's on the jazz again." She knows I love getting into stuff by diving headfirst into it, and a few months later, I'll drop it completely. |
Yeah, you're like me on that one. Except for me it's generally a matter of a few days or weeks more than months.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina Think of all the cool skills and experiences you could pick up if you did that sort of thing deliberately. |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruce Achterberg If you were to ask me "has all you've been doing--including the things you've just dabbled in--helped you in some way?" I'd answer, "you bet!" |
No need to say that to me, you guys. I'm a self-confessed scanner and I'm very happy for all the experiences and skills I've gathered along the way (even though I don't intend to do any of this again). I wouldn't want to be a specialist.
I was feeling a bit sad when I wrote that I don't see the point in going for something knowing perfectly well that it wouldn't last. There are projects that require a high level in mastery even to "do it just once" (which is my goal). For instance I'm having a very precise vision about how I would love to dance tango. I don't want to make tango my career, I'd just love to dance like this vision once. But reaching the necessary technical level to dance this way would take years of training, and I just know I won't do it. It makes me sad.
For other projects you need to be very committed and work for years on building a reputation and gaining experience in this field, and these too are projects I'll never be able to realize. For instance in order to stage-manage an original theater adaption of a novel by Dostoievsky, I mean a big one that requires lots of money, actors, extras and special effects and that would take place outside on a big parcel of land, you need to become a damn good stage director first. That's not something I could do once just for fun. What a bummer
Also, I'm emotionally very attached to each project and it hurts like hell when I leave it unfinished. It's like repeatedly falling in love, thinking this is the love of my life, and then suddenly realizing that I'm not interested anymore.
I guess I still need to develop more detachment, more acceptance for my scanner nature, and more consciousness about why I do what I do.
I'm re-reading
Refuse to Choose! now. It helps. I've decided that I would only start projects that can be finished in about two weeks from now on. This way maybe I'd finish them? And when I'm done, it's really over and I have no regrets.