Alrighty... so some time has passed since I got my reading from Erin, and I thought I would post a follow-up. You can find my original reading earlier in the thread.
The decision? I am not applying to graduate school, but will re-evaluate in time for next years' admissions (so in about 9 months).
One thing I found interesting in my reading was this bit:
Quote:
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Still, you have free will and can ultimately change even the spiritual contract you made with yourself before you incarnated. So that option is yours as well.
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The reason I found this interesting is that it was even worth a mention. Certainly one is able to choose differently than what the "original plan" was... but yet Erin (or the guides, I'm not sure who was/is speaking here) made a point of saying it. Perhaps they/she knew that this would ultimately be my choice.
It may seem counter-intuitive, given that my reading so specifically said that I should go directly to graduate school (do not pass go, do not collect $200). And yet, it was only after I had made the decision, that (when I went back and re-read my reading) the above statement stuck out to me. When I first got my reading, the imagery of the "college library", of being "overwhelmed", and of knowing I would regret not trying all struck me as being "right", and so that's what stuck out ot me. The part about "knowing what I want to do" struck me as being strange, because that was my reason for getting the reading in the first place. So that stuck out to me. To be honest, I still don't know what I would study if I were to go to grad school -- at least, not on a conscious level. But now, having decided not to go, it's the permission to change the plan that sticks out to me.
In retrospect, the whole situation is a bit strange to me, really. I don't doubt Erin's ability to do readings -- I believe that she really did contact my guides, and that what she passed on to me is really what they had to say. But at the same time, in some way, the reading left me unsatisfied. Only when I chose not to go with Erin's interpretation of what my guides said did I feel peace in my heart. For better or for worse, I feel comfortable, even knowing that what I have chosen is not in accordance with the original plan.
I don't know the details of how Erin's readings work. I don't know to what extent the framing of the question impacts her interpretation of the messages. My questions were very geared toward the idea of going to grad school or not -- but libraries are found in places that aren't colleges or universities. So I don't know how much my questions influenced the reading.
But that isn't what makes me feel comfortable in making the decision to go against the advice in my reading. It's not that I'm justifying my choice by saying "well, she could have misinterpreted", because I know that Erin is good at what she does, and that the message she got from the guides seemed pretty clear. I only even mention it here is for those skeptics who might pass by: I'm comfortable with my choice, even though I know it's going against what the reading was. It has nothing to do with Erin's ability to do a reading, because I
know that she can, and does. This is a vote of confidence, not one of skepticism.
But I guess, in the end, what makes me comfortable is something that I learned long ago: the most important thing for me to do when making any sort of decision is to listen to my heart. In this case, my heart was telling me that you just can't fit a square peg (me) into a round hole (academia). And so I based my choice on that, and respectfully declined the advice of my guides -- at least at this point. I might surprise us all by going back when I re-evaluate in a year.
I'm sorry this is such a lengthy missive, but (a) I'm avoiding studying for my final exams -- by the way, Erin, the field I'm in right now (and thus the one I was looking at) is Religious Studies. Don't know if that meshes with what the guides were showing you or not -- and (b) because I'm still working through a lot of this in my head. My heart seems to have it all figured out, but my head is still trying to play catch-up.
So then, I guess the only thing I'm left wondering is... clearly, you can change the contract you made with yourself... but what are the consequences of doing so? In this case, this is a conscious decision on my part, but I would assume that one can also go against the spiritual contract without being aware that s/he is doing so... of course, I could be mistaken. But what happens when you do? Is there an "alternate scenario" clause in the contract? Or by making this decision, am I "going off the chart" so-to-speak...
I don't know how involved the response(s) to this question may be, but if it's too involved, might I suggest (request) a blog entry on the subject? :-)