Personally, I wouldn't marry into a dysfunctional family where I wasn't accepted. I believe that when you marry, you are marrying more than a person, you are marrying an entire family. My in-laws have been so important to me in supporting our relationship, helping with the grandkids, etc, while my sister married into a not-so-stable family that has been a constant stress on her relationship.
I am sure this is not what you want to hear since you have already invested 5 years in this relationship and are planning to get married. Maybe if your husband is willing to be a strong advocate for you against his family it will be all right. But I would worry that if your relationship is not going so well (because there will be ups and downs), he will go back to them and team up against you. You know him best and whether this is his style.
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