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The Cloud: You are basically saying accept the situation as it is. I totally agree with that is the first step. I wouldnt even have that much of a problem with not being able to speak well in a group. The thing is that I cannot maintain being me. I get clouded and start feeling small and that is exactly what I want to avoid. Feeling ok with my so called short comings. Maybe I dont accept it fully and end up in the spiral down. What do you think? Your explanation for 2) is a bit vague for me. Maybe you can give me an example of what this feeling is telling me or how I can look at it. The thing is that I get so annoyed that who I am gets pushed to the background. I want to keep flowing naturally and not get eaten by anger or other obstructive emotions. Thats the bottom line.
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Originally Posted by Lanya  1) Next time you have something to say that's deviant, say it anyway. Do a "speak before you think" thing (if you can do that) and force yourself to spit it out before you comprehend what the hell you're doing. The emphasis here is not to make a plan out of it or conquer your fear: the emphasis is on just doing it. |
I like these hands-on things. Hard but do-able I think.
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2) Don't have any short-term suggestions here, but you can just pay particular attention to your emotions whenever that happens. Eventually it fades (by eventually, I mean don't expect a difference in a month). Just make a habit of it for the sake of it.
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How does paying particular attention help you? Is that a form of accepting perhaps?
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z1freeride: Checking out Nicks pages and reading up on the article you mentioned.