Don't expect the situation to change.
I'm on another messageboard of all women, of all age ranges. The ones who are married constantly talk about their "in-law" horrors. And - yes, it puts a HUGE strain on the marriage. Many end up divorced, or in unhappy relationships, filled with resentment.
The ones who have remained in a happy, strong marriage despite the in-law...they have one trait in common: the spouse with the crazy parents was the sole liason.
As in, let's say that a woman's in-laws are spiteful and controlling....
The marriages that end up in divorce, the wife tries to set boundaries with her in-laws while her husband plays mediator and peacemaker. He tries to make everyone happy, which ends up with no one happy.
The marriages that work, the husband is the main person who deals with the parents. The husband is the negotiator and puts up very strong boundaries, always putting his wife first. The wife either doesn't get involved, or ironically, plays mediator.
Your fiancé must ALWAYS put you as his #1 priority. Over his family. He must be the person who confronts his parents and tells them "yes" or "no." He has to be the active person. He has to shield YOU from them.
Please keep this in mind as you move forward.
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