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Originally Posted by Angela  I don't think it makes sense to tell him he *shouldn't* be jealous, or that he has no reason to be jealous, because that's not true. Of course he should be jealous, because he is jealous, and of course he has a reason to be jealous, even if it's one you don't think is valid. |
Ugh, you're right. I told him he has no reason to be jealous, what a bummer.
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and that you are totally committed to being his LLTMBR partner, if indeed you are.
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YES I am, absolutely. I told him so. I said that I want to be with HIM and nobody else. And that I love him and that the presence of my best friend doesn't change anything about us.
He's jealous because we're in a long-distance relationship, and now my (male) best friend T has come to visit me. He's staying at my place for a week or two.
Yesterday I could feel that there was something wrong with K. He was just behaving normal but something wasn't ok. He was emotionally withdrawing and shutting down, very far away from me. I also had a gut feeling that he was jealous about T. I asked if everything's fine, he said yes, so I got doubts about my feeling, trusted him to tell the truth and behaved just like usually.
Today he behaved strangely, didn't call, but sent a hurt text message as if I had failed to call him (which wasn't the case), and repeatedly did not pick up the phone when I called, which is very unusual. I wasn't able to "reach" him emotionally at all (I can feel how some people feel at a distance even without physical contact, but today he was "away"). In the evening he sent a text message saying that he's having a very crappy gut feeling and doesn't know why but needs to sort his thoughts before talking to me again. I asked if it was because of T's presence here, and he just answered "bingo."
Well I wrote back that I want to be with HIM and nobody else, that T's presence here doesn't change anything about us, that I love him and that I'm sorry he's feeling crappy, that he has no reason for being jealous, that I'm ok with him going on distance of course, that if he wants to talk about it, I'm here for him, and otherwise too
and a few more things that I don't remember.
I don't know how to deal with such a situation. There is NOTHING romantic or sexual between T and me. He's just my friend, has been my best friend for years, I make no difference between male and female friends. I told K so and I don't know what I could do more about it. Feeling kinda lost
In fact, to be really honest I don't feel like talking about it and understanding where he's coming from and all this. He can get
very emotional at times and I'm afraid to say something wrong that would make it even worse. I'm also afraid he might think I don't care about his feelings (*). I do care, but I don't want to get into such a heart-pain-drama, you know?
Edit: (*): because everyting's fine for me, him going on distance, or not, being jealous, or not... and because I won't change anything anyway.