[DivaLion]

I loved this post!

And I want to second (third? fourth?) what has been said here about how much things can change in only a year or two. Two years ago, I was dead broke. I'd been laid off as the result of a merger from a cushy consulting job that I liked well enough but wasn't *too* depressed to lose as I recognized that I'd asked the Universe to help kick me out of the nest, as it were, and I also knew I was stagnating there. But job-hunting was going so slowly, with a frustrating number of interviews for which I was one of the finalists but didn't get hired. I'd gone through my cash reserves and had to live on unemployment, which meant that after expenses, I could literally afford mac & cheese. I was willing my car to keep running, because it badly needed repairs for which I had no money.

In that time, I staffed two spirituality festivals so that I could go for free, and taught workshops I was very excited about at one of them. I also planned and ran a big event, and made my first short film, using entirely scrounged resources. (So I can also affirm the possibility of doing what you love when you can barely afford to eat!)

I focused my job hunt on two factors: It had to be a happy, positive working atmosphere, and it had to involve in some way the things that I love. Specifically, I targeted a nonprofit arts center in my area that I'd read about as a great place to work; since I love both the arts and nonprofit work, it was a good fit.

I knew I'd probably take a pay cut since I was switching fields. And I won't lie, when the HR person from the center called to give me the lowdown on salary and benefits, I listened to the number, thanked her, hung up, and cried. It was an amazing job, but I actually had to take a calculator to the budget to figure out if I could live on that amount, which was barely more than I was getting from unemployment. I was also somewhat overqualified for the job, but it was what was open, and I wasn't too proud to start at the bottom.

After all those months of searching, I had three job offers at once. The center, which was love for little pay; a position around the corner from my house that was pretty good pay but would definitely be "just a job"; and a new contract consulting on another team at my former client, which was a good atmosphere but "meh" work, and great money. I accepted the center job, reasoning that I could always find ways to make more money, but I'd never get back the time I would spend at a soulless job. Still, it definitely felt like I'd let go of the trapeze with only a hope of catching a new one and/or discovering whether or not there was a net!

Well, I have no regrets about my choice! This is hands down the best working atmosphere I've ever been in. I've been promoted to a job I'm largely creating for myself, supervising my old position (and making sure to support the personal/professional growth of the young woman who holds it now...we get along great and she calls me "Obi Wan". Hehe...) Part of my job is seeing great performances, I get classes and rehearsal spaces for free, my outside projects are supported and celebrated, I get to travel for work, and I spend my days in the company of driven, dynamic, creative people who I genuinely like as friends, not just coworkers.

Two years ago I was broke, hungry, and nearing desperation, hoping my car would get me to the next interview and the next one. Now, I'm not rich (in fact I did take on some freelance work on the side to build up savings again), but I live comfortably within my means. I have a new (used) car that some friends helped me to get, I just joined a gym and started dancing again, I have health insurance and a credit union, and in short things have turned around almost completely since those dark days. This year so far, I've taught four workshops with great success, planned and run a party at a festival, run a staff department at another festival, and I've been asked to write articles for a national publication and to teach a weekend intensive in the fall.

Thanks for the perspective...one of the things I continue to struggle with is the anxiety that the things I still want to accomplish are things that will take years and years to become a noticeable part of my life, that it's somehow all or nothing, just a holding pattern for years and then BOOM all at once. I was put on advanced tracks in school and there was always so much pressure to be a prodigy, to be ahead of everyone else...that's a hard mindset to shake, even after all these years. It was really helpful just to take that moment to look back over the last few years and see how dramatic the change has been, even though it feels gradual-- and also to see where things I wanted became part of my life and give me joy even before they started to take off.