I think I can understand where your wife is coming from, she doesn't want to be married to you anymore, until the moment that she sees that you may be finding some one new. She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want you to replace her either. It's pretty common. The "hot sex" thing is too. I feel pretty confident in saying that if you left the new girlfriend and went back to the wife, things would go back to the way they were before. Do yourself, and your wife a favor and cut having the intimacy and focus on the new relationship. You guys deserve to make a clean (and final!) break, and move on. Good luck!
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