Hey richie
There's a few things I'd say about this. First of all you dont seem to understand what attracts a women. Telling her you'll always be there for her and that you love her doesn't attract her, you can say that after going out with her for some time, but right now it will come across needy or obessive. You need to be cool. She's attracted to somebody you might think of as a jerk or at least undeserving and it might seem puzzling to you why she likes him.
Well to a girl he's older and offers her validation, ie if an older guy likes her it's social proof to her that she's desirable, he also is in his own "frame" so to speak, ie. when she's with him she'll be in his world in some sense if you can get what I mean. It means he doesn't need anything from her. You appear to need something from her.
Women say they want commitment, honestly, love etc and they do. BUT this isn't what attracts them, this will keep them, positive qualities like these are certainly positive, but during the attraction phase the girl will like a confident, outgoing, un-needy, challenging guy who can make her feel safe.
So my first point is for you to read about what attracts women. What I have said here is a good outline, but there are plenty of online resources that will tell you exactly what attracts women, you seem to have the wrong slant.
Secondly, she seems to need validation quite a lot. You should question whether you want to be with a girl like this. It's not nice of her to kinda "string you along" if she's not interested in you, she's simply getting validation from it. So understand that, you showing her an interest is making her feel attractive and important and thats a big reason she hangs around with you. However that definitely will not make her attracted to you. This kinda girl is attracted to a guy who is tricky to get, whose validation therefore becomes all the more coveted.
Thirdly I would suggest you see why you like this girl. You say she is a challenge, well plenty of women are a challenge. It isn't real for you to be into her so singlmindedly, try and see how so many women out there are challenging and fun, really see it and you will have a more healthy perspective on this girl.
So to summarise, don't be so available for her. Don't be so ready to say you love her or need her. Do things on your own terms, definitely figure out what attracts women. If you are less available, ie you meet with her only when you want to and not when you think she wants to, you may grow a little more distant but she will grow more attracted. And develope a realistic sense of this girls uniquenss and importance, which is that she isn't unique you simply need to meet more girls and look for the qualities you like in this girl in other girls
Hope this helps, all the best
|