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Originally Posted by DoAnyOfYouExist  Can you teach me how to "not analyze" the ego death/awakening(I am buddhist but just recently hard core) experience because that is my problem I think, the experience comes at me and I try to analyze it...my brain tries to make sense of it, not only that my heart races and every cell on my body feels afire and it scares me badly, once I pull myself out of the experience I am cold, shaking and afraid of bodily death(damn you ego!) |
Oh, but you're so close! The fire of living comes from the self behind the identity. We just mistake it for the identity because we don't look past the identity. Clever ego knows that when a finger points, you see the finger, not the spot it's pointing at. So it just points and points and we never know the different. What ego sees and fears annihilation, self sees and knows that it exists beyond disappearance. All you have to do is go to that brink, where the sweat beads on your egoic brow and breathe. Breathe with your whole being. Feel how your awareness moves with each breath. This isn't breath control for meditation; this is being--what meditation is practice for. Notice that fear and exhilaration feel exactly the same; they only differ in the interpretation and the reaction. As you settle into that discomfort, you will find that as soon as you stop fighting it, the same feeling is bliss.
But I can't tell you how to do that; the journey is your own. You have to find it by understanding your own process. Why does your mind try to make sense of it? What does your mind think it will find by reducing and dividing the problem into a million pieces? Problems of the mind are infinitely reducible; how will your mind know when to stop if it reflexively moves from fragment to fragment looking for the whole? What do you see when you stop looking and just let it enter?