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Flame · 12-09-2006, 05:00 PM

Well, you're definitely not a sociopath or pathologically arrogant, since you feel badly for hurting your girlfriend and friends.

It can be understandably intoxicating to go from "Nerdy Guy" to "Extremely Successful Guy," particularly if you feel like you weren't appreciated before you became successful. You've worked hard for what you've achieved, why shouldn't feel proud?

BUT HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS AS A MAN? Is it money, professional prestige, the number of people working under you? Perhaps you feel like you're better than the folks who knew "Nerdy Guy," because different types of people want to be around you now that you're "successful."

I've heard a self-made millionaire say that as a man, his greatest success is that his wife, who married him when he had nothing, and could enter a room an know there wasn't another woman who was more loved and respected by her husband. The same for his kids. He's also proud of his professional success, but that is only PART of what defined his success as a person.

Identify how you define success for yourself, and take steps to improve in those areas. Clear the air with anyone you've hurt, and identify what patterns of thinking led to the hurtful actions. Take care of the people knew and cared about you before you were professionally successful. They will be the ones remaining when times are rough (unless you completely alienate them now).

One caveat: I'm making some assumptions, since we don't know all the details. it's important to distinguish why you feel better or different now that you are considered "successful." If it's because you're friends still do drugs and you've moved on from that life, that's one thing. But if you think you deserve a hotter girlfriend, more professionally successful friends, etc, ask yourself WHY? Are you a fundamentally different person now than "Nerdy Guy?" Specifically, you may be wealthier and more confident, but have your values and character changed? Are people who want to associate with you now doing so because you have $, or do you share similar values, interests etc?

12-09-2006, 05:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Flame Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29	Well, you're definitely not a sociopath or pathologically arrogant, since you feel badly for hurting your girlfriend and friends. It can be understandably intoxicating to go from "Nerdy Guy" to "Extremely Successful Guy," particularly if you feel like you weren't appreciated before you became successful. You've worked hard for what you've achieved, why shouldn't feel proud? BUT HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS AS A MAN? Is it money, professional prestige, the number of people working under you? Perhaps you feel like you're better than the folks who knew "Nerdy Guy," because different types of people want to be around you now that you're "successful." I've heard a self-made millionaire say that as a man, his greatest success is that his wife, who married him when he had nothing, and could enter a room an know there wasn't another woman who was more loved and respected by her husband. The same for his kids. He's also proud of his professional success, but that is only PART of what defined his success as a person. Identify how you define success for yourself, and take steps to improve in those areas. Clear the air with anyone you've hurt, and identify what patterns of thinking led to the hurtful actions. Take care of the people knew and cared about you before you were professionally successful. They will be the ones remaining when times are rough (unless you completely alienate them now). One caveat: I'm making some assumptions, since we don't know all the details. it's important to distinguish why you feel better or different now that you are considered "successful." If it's because you're friends still do drugs and you've moved on from that life, that's one thing. But if you think you deserve a hotter girlfriend, more professionally successful friends, etc, ask yourself WHY? Are you a fundamentally different person now than "Nerdy Guy?" Specifically, you may be wealthier and more confident, but have your values and character changed? Are people who want to associate with you now doing so because you have $, or do you share similar values, interests etc?