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Old 07-11-2008, 09:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
CroMagna
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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August,

I relate to your situation completely. My family is liberal Christian, but I am an atheist and a Satanist. In ways that my family is liberal, I am conservative (i.e. economics, hard work, no affirmative action, etc) and in ways that they are conservative, I am liberal (sexual liberation, masturbation, bisexuality, religious freedom, etc). I have moved extremely far from the values of my family and culture (African). My family will not even be at my wedding, which hurts. Because they don't know my worldview, they essentially don't know the real me. So I understand where you're coming from.

Unless you are willing and able to leave home for good, my advice to you is to go to college and get the degree your family would admire (if they are agreeing to pay for college). It's one thing to follow your heart, but it's another to use your head. You have to incorporate both to achieve true wisdom. Having a college degree in a "worthy" field will give you something to fall back on. Then if you grow older and your personality changes or becomes more like your parents, you won't feel stuck in a situation you don't like (not having a bachelor's for example). College will also provide you with the amazing opportunity to live on your own without much responsibility, travel the world, meet like-minded or different people, and have your parents out of your hair. It will buy you time to save up so that you never have to return home, or only have to return briefly.

Forget Islam. But they don't have to know. I can imagine your family becoming animated and angry, because Muslims have a strong proclivity to react that way in those types of situations. So you can keep it to yourself. Anton LaVey, the founder of my religion, said in The Satanic Bible, "nothing is accomplished by flaunting your permissiveness." If you're secure in yourself, you won't feel the need to have everyone accept you.

I know you love your family, everyone feels obligated to do so. But what about your REAL family? Maybe there are alternate families you can find for emotional support. I have a Satanic family comprised of my boyfriend and a few close friends, plus the online stomping grounds. I also have a bisexual family comprised of friends and acquaintances. They would not change my dirty diapers, let me crash their car, or have me live with them for 20 years, but one thing's for sure, they know who I am, they know who my boyfriend is, they GET me, I GET them, and they would attend my wedding. So my life is greatly enriched knowing I have my birth family and also have other, better families.
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