I would be very frustrated, too!
Have you tried really seducing her - not just being flirtatious, but really, really taking care of her - massaging her feet, doing kind things - and, here's the key - not to get sex, but because you love and care for her?
How old are your kids? If they're still nursing, it's possible she's "touched out" by the end of the day, and you may just need to hang in there until the kids don't have such a high need to be held.
Those were my initial thoughts -
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