I sorta skimmed through your post, but the vibe I'm getting here is "I AM RIGHT, SHE IS WRONG!!!"
That's not a very, erhm, fruitful attitude.
Have you considered that you might be going about this the wrong way? You mention that you refrain from pleasuring yourself in the off chance that she might be 'good to go' that night... though, from the sound of it, you might easily do two laps a night, while she doesn't. Not by a stretch.
Why not worry about your own needs first? If you need to jack off, just do it... once your own needs are taken care off, then you can -maybe- start worrying about improving her sexual desires in your favor.
You are the one who is sexually frustrated, but that is not her fault!
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