Hey, Mark. I don't know that I have the solution to your problem, but I wanted to say that as a woman, I don't think you are a jerk at all. It may be that she doesn't have a very high sex drive and can't really understand why you want sex so much. It may be that she's feeling badly about something else entirely and can't get excited for sex. I don't know. Have you tried talking to her, not in the moment of initiating a sexual encounter, about her reasons for not wanting sex much? Has it been like this throughout your relationship?
I don't think that anyone should have sex when they don't want to, but I do think that it's a big part of a relationship and that if one partner is not satisfied there is something to look at. Counseling may even be in order. I know I wouldn't be happy for long without regular sex if I didn't know the reason. Ask your wife to sit down and talk with you honestly about the topic and see what you two can discover together.
I wish you the best of luck. And I hope you get some good advice here.
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