Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How to lose everything in life, and still be ok and excited about creating a new life

NightSpirit · 07-07-2008, 05:50 PM

I have come close to losing everything. My husband was the major breadwinner and he had to fight cancer. We weren't expecting it and had just finished remodeling our house. Then because we didn't know which way it would go and social security and disability takes it's time if you are not terminally ill, by the time that was all settled, we had lost everything. Of all the things I lost, the house, my car, money, whatever, losing my credit rating, my financial reputation, was near the top.

We weren't excited or happy about it. But we did learn some things, about how to find contentment without buying it somewhere, about how to receive charity and that was a hard one since I had always been the one with the power of being the giver.

And it really is true that the people richest in finances are not always the hardest working and the wisest. No one worked harder than I did before this happened or after, but some people have more compensation to show for their work. We do the same thing to those that have lost everything financially that we do to the victims of crime, as a kind of financial autopsy. If we can get the details, find out what they did wrong, then we can write it off somehow as their fault and feel more secure that we are safe and more proud of ourselves.

I learned that I will live somewhere until I die, even if it's under a bridge or in a tent and I will eat something, even if it's apples off a tree or fish from a lake. I learned that kindness and love can come from unexpected places and doesn't always come from where you do expect. So now I look more for the love and kindness in life and less to certain people as sources for those riches. By having been stripped of some of my material items, I learned that I am still me, that nothing I lost changed who I am and now I know that neither can any thing I can acquire change who I am. Everything I own now, outside practical furniture and a place to live, could probably fit in a good size closet now and I like it that way.

I think the most valuable lesson I learned is to be careful what I am willing to exchange my time and values to get. Knowing how it all turned out, I want all that time back that I worked overtime or odd shifts when I could have been with my kids or family or doing something I loved, instead of working to get money to buys things or make my house look like my neighbors house. I learned to stop comparing myself to others and that "this too shall pass" so I sweat the small stuff less. And now it is nearly impossible for me to be embarrassed because once people think things about you that are not true, you stop caring what people think.

When Jesus told the rich young ruler to give away all that he had and follow Him, it may seem like a harsh thing to some, but Jesus was really trying to teach him all these lessons in an instant. You can be free in the same way. Give it all away if it's become a prison or god to you. If not, just know in your heart that you are willing to lose it all because your value can't be changed by the people or things around you, especially not by a big stack of green paper things.

07-07-2008, 05:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
NightSpirit Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 379	I have come close to losing everything. My husband was the major breadwinner and he had to fight cancer. We weren't expecting it and had just finished remodeling our house. Then because we didn't know which way it would go and social security and disability takes it's time if you are not terminally ill, by the time that was all settled, we had lost everything. Of all the things I lost, the house, my car, money, whatever, losing my credit rating, my financial reputation, was near the top. We weren't excited or happy about it. But we did learn some things, about how to find contentment without buying it somewhere, about how to receive charity and that was a hard one since I had always been the one with the power of being the giver. And it really is true that the people richest in finances are not always the hardest working and the wisest. No one worked harder than I did before this happened or after, but some people have more compensation to show for their work. We do the same thing to those that have lost everything financially that we do to the victims of crime, as a kind of financial autopsy. If we can get the details, find out what they did wrong, then we can write it off somehow as their fault and feel more secure that we are safe and more proud of ourselves. I learned that I will live somewhere until I die, even if it's under a bridge or in a tent and I will eat something, even if it's apples off a tree or fish from a lake. I learned that kindness and love can come from unexpected places and doesn't always come from where you do expect. So now I look more for the love and kindness in life and less to certain people as sources for those riches. By having been stripped of some of my material items, I learned that I am still me, that nothing I lost changed who I am and now I know that neither can any thing I can acquire change who I am. Everything I own now, outside practical furniture and a place to live, could probably fit in a good size closet now and I like it that way. I think the most valuable lesson I learned is to be careful what I am willing to exchange my time and values to get. Knowing how it all turned out, I want all that time back that I worked overtime or odd shifts when I could have been with my kids or family or doing something I loved, instead of working to get money to buys things or make my house look like my neighbors house. I learned to stop comparing myself to others and that "this too shall pass" so I sweat the small stuff less. And now it is nearly impossible for me to be embarrassed because once people think things about you that are not true, you stop caring what people think. When Jesus told the rich young ruler to give away all that he had and follow Him, it may seem like a harsh thing to some, but Jesus was really trying to teach him all these lessons in an instant. You can be free in the same way. Give it all away if it's become a prison or god to you. If not, just know in your heart that you are willing to lose it all because your value can't be changed by the people or things around you, especially not by a big stack of green paper things.