You sound exactly like I used to get. If you are, then I'm afraid that you are setting yourself up for a pretty intense emotional experience, and probably a bad one at that.
As far as I have discerned, the problem comes from defining the relationship. I had formed a definition of what I thought my relationship with somebody was, and then put all my energy into forcing the reality to fit that description in my head. Ultimately, when I fought reality, it fought back. I was not the winner. This resulted in blame being assigned, blame for me and for the other party. I felt a lot of terrible things, and did a lot of stupid things. All because I couldn't let go of that idea of what I wanted in my head. Of course, this experience was also intensely positive because it taught me a lot of things about myself and essentially changed my life in a huge way, but in your case I'm sure you'd prefer that the lesson weren't necessary.
The thing that I can recommend that may help you most is to accept that he is the way he is and you are the way you are and nobody is to blame for it. It's not his fault if he won't enter into a relationship with you, he is who he is and he can't help it. It's not your fault if he won't be with you, because you are who you are and you couldn't be other than that and be happy. You are who you are and he is who he is, and that is how it is. And the same applies if you do succeed in a relationship with him
