Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Dealing with my SO's depression and suicidal thoughts

bingo · 07-05-2008, 04:38 PM

Hi all, this is my first post here, but seeing all the useful info and smart people here, I though I would ask for some help.

I've been with my current boyfriend for over a year, and the relationship so far has worked out okay. Though I'm having my doubts that we're right for each other in the long run. We don't argue and the sex is great, and I care for him a lot, but I don't feel like the relationship is fulfilling or going anywhere, or that we are right for each other in the long run. I want to bring this up with him, but I don't dare too, because lately he's been kind of down because of things happening in his life that have nothing to do with me, and has been talking about taking his own life. Overdosing on pills and so on. This really scares me, even though I believe and hope that he won't do it.

I don't know how serious he is about this, though consider that he's 21, gay and that a friend of his commited suicide less than half a year ago, makes me think that he might actually mean it.

I just don't know what to do. If we break up and he then kills himself, I'm going to feel horrible, like a murderer. Should I stay in the relationship and try to help him the best I can. And how do you help someone that has suicidal thoughts. I've never had any thoughts like this myself, so have no idea how to handle it. Should I try to get his family to help, even though his relationship with them is kind of messed up, because they don't like him being gay...and by extension, don't like me. I'm completely at a loss. Any ideas what I can do?

07-05-2008, 04:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
bingo Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1	Dealing with my SO's depression and suicidal thoughts Hi all, this is my first post here, but seeing all the useful info and smart people here, I though I would ask for some help. I've been with my current boyfriend for over a year, and the relationship so far has worked out okay. Though I'm having my doubts that we're right for each other in the long run. We don't argue and the sex is great, and I care for him a lot, but I don't feel like the relationship is fulfilling or going anywhere, or that we are right for each other in the long run. I want to bring this up with him, but I don't dare too, because lately he's been kind of down because of things happening in his life that have nothing to do with me, and has been talking about taking his own life. Overdosing on pills and so on. This really scares me, even though I believe and hope that he won't do it. I don't know how serious he is about this, though consider that he's 21, gay and that a friend of his commited suicide less than half a year ago, makes me think that he might actually mean it. I just don't know what to do. If we break up and he then kills himself, I'm going to feel horrible, like a murderer. Should I stay in the relationship and try to help him the best I can. And how do you help someone that has suicidal thoughts. I've never had any thoughts like this myself, so have no idea how to handle it. Should I try to get his family to help, even though his relationship with them is kind of messed up, because they don't like him being gay...and by extension, don't like me. I'm completely at a loss. Any ideas what I can do?