Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina McLeman  Well, my childhood was great in many ways, but not so in others. I love my parents dearly, and I accept they raised me the only way they knew how.
I had pretty much everything I ever wanted material-wise and I always had everything I needed. I always had money in my pocket, and they gave me all the tools I needed to be academically successful. They still make sure I am provided for today - even though I don't live at home anymore.
I had (and still have) a great relationship with my dad. I didn't always have a great relationship with my mum though a lot of the time. But nowadays we get along really well  .
When I did live at home (up until I was 22), we argued a lot and rarely got along. I won't go into details, but to sum up - she was always quick to dish out negative remarks but she was sparing with her positive comments. Her reactions to things often confused me - I never understood why she acted like she did. But I've learned to accept that it's just who she is.
Maybe the negative remarks have had a much deeper affect on me than I previously thought. |
Tina,
Thank you for your response.
Were you made to
feel loved and accepted as a child?
The point I am trying to make is that there is a logical reason for your current feelings. Feeling worthless has a root and it is almost always found in childhood. I am a big advocate of looking into one's past to figure out the who/what/why of today's problems. Why? Simply because if we acknowledge where it came from, we are more likely to examine the motives of current behavior.
The challenge for you is to become comfortable with yourself that you can socialize without any anxiety or insecurity. Alcohol certainly gives you this freedom that isn't felt when you are sober. Fears and insecurities melt away with alcohol and this is very exciting for you. It is tempting to rely on alcohol to meet our confidence levels and you are not alone in your struggle.
Obviously, your goal is to become confident without alcohol and to have a higher self-esteem. To do this, you must challenge your thoughts and feelings regarding your negativity. Additionally, I would recommend therapy for your low self-esteem. I have been in counseling for almost a year for my self-esteem problems and it has helped tremendously. The "inner child" concept is my favorite and it has really encouraged great change in me. Have you heard of it?