Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_A  What traits do woman look for in a man?
And
What traits do woman hate finding in men?
This is an opportunity for woman to enlighten the average Joe |
I'll happily tell you, from my limited perspective, as I am not able to speak for all women.
When I was dating and first met my husband, the general personality and physical traits I was looking for in men included the following: friendly and agreeable, honesty, integrity, actions match his words, actively engaged in life (e.g. some endeavor that he was passionate about and devoted to such as his work, education, art, music, etc.), demonstrated respect and kindness, compassionate toward others, communication style was considerate rather than argumentative or critical, lack of anger or resentment toward women/lack of sexism, clean, physically fit and healthy, good self-image, confident, mentally and emotionally stable, humorous, intelligent, could express his emotions clearly, desired and fostered good relationships with his family (and parents in particular).
My husband had most of these traits, and also manifested a few new ones, which I also found highly attractive: evidence of solid boundaries (ability to say 'no' and mean it), mental, physical and emotional strength (he is an Ironman triathlete), curiosity, desire to form relationships with the people who meant the most to me (my family adores him), ability to discuss a broad variety of topics, lack of fear of others, gregarious and outgoing (he is a social butterfly, unlike me!), has desired and maintained long-term friendships most of his life, sensitivity (feels things deeply), strong empathy, monogamous nature, leads by example, does exactly what he says he will do (this is so important, and so attractive to me!). He is also very sexy, very sensual and has taken the time to learn how to be a great lover (a 'trait' anyone can adopt by taking the time to learn). In addition, he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman alive by never criticizing my appearance and always telling me that he finds me beautiful and sexy (and confirming this through his responsiveness to me!). He is always showing me love and support, encouraging me and listening to me, but does not tell me what to do or try to parent me. He is happy being my husband, my lover and friend. He is happy, period. I realize some of these are behaviors rather than innate personality traits, but thought I'd mention them anyway.
He is not perfect, but damn near close, and he is certainly perfect for me
. I've learned so much from him.. his character has shown so much that is good, wonderful, true and worthy of admiration. He has truly changed my life for the better, just by being who he is. Not a day goes by where I do not show my appreciation.
Sorry for the digression...
As requested, here are some traits in men which have excluded them in the past. These qualify as traits I "hate" or at least deeply dislike and won't tolerate in a relationship: very selfish attitude, abusive tendencies, anger and resentment toward women/sexism, sarcastic and argumentative communication style, emotional immaturity, dominant and domineering behavior, stupidity, bull-headedness, inability to articulate emotions, routine sexual impotence, prudishness and hangups, sexual perversions/addictions, promiscuity, infidelity, untrustworthiness, mental and emotional instability, inability to form close relationships or to be intimate with others, lack of ability to empathize, highly materialistic, compulsive, self-obsessed, superficial, skewed sense of ethical values, morally corrupt, overweening or obsequious, withholding, punishing, not affectionate, self-promoting, has hidden agendas, exploits others, laziness, victim mentality, blaming, passive-aggressive, addict, two-faced, self-pitying, gullible, insecure.
Long lists, but hopefully comprehensive enough. I am sure I forgot something
. These are of course based on my opinions and subjective experience so take it for what it's worth. Hope it helps. Good luck!
Amber