One thing tha helped me connect with people is simply imagining that the other person is me from a different time and place (I guess, depending on the belief system you adopt, the other person is you). So, if people your own age feel like partying and getting drunk, appreciate that it's a part of you that wants to do that. This simple exercise will make it easier to connect with people.
That being said, you probably want to find friends that have similar values and interests to you. I'm 21 and I don't find many people my age that are into personal development etc. However, a solution that I've found is simply openingly discussing my interest in growth with the people I meet. Some people don't care for it and others become intrigued - those are the people that I spend time with today. In this way, you can effectively construct your own social circle.
As far as romantic relationships go, I think for a person of your age the secret is to go out on a lot of dates. This will help you define what you want in a partner. For the next little while, I would ask out any cute girl you have a connection with. It doesn't have to turn into a relationship or anything - the experience itself is valuable.
Hope that helps. Good luck.
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