Thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind responses! They really put a smile on my face :0) Below are some comments in response to yours.
Ceros
In response to your question, I basically realized that I was so busy trying to make him happy that I never once considered what he was doing for me. All of his sweet talking fooled me for long but fortunately, not too long. I realized that he was incredibly selfish and always considered himself first and did whatever suited him, never thinking of how I would be affected. And when I confronted him with this, instead of trying on work on the relationship, he literally said, "my friends call me a narcissist, this is how i am. take it or leave it." Anyways, enough details. Lets consider it over and done with. But hope you have a better idea of what I meant by the good on paper, but a disaster in person expression.
Liverpool Footballer
Thanks for empathizing and thanks for the advice. Want to hear a funny coincidence? So, on my quest to get out of this slump, I went to the bookstore today after the work and stayed there for maybe an hour and a half reading books. Anyway, I ended up buying Eat Pray Love, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, AND The Power of Now!! The first two Ive had my eye on for awhile, but the last book was bought on a whimp. I'm glad I made the purchase. It would be nice to kind of let go and not feel like I NEED to have all these things that society tells us will make us "successful."
ThoughtAddict
I am amazed by your two sentence analysis. It is right on! Thank you for clarifying that to me personally and thank you so much for your kind and wise words. You know, I know that in the long run everything will be fine and this is a bump in the road, which is why I call it my "quarterlife crisis" as it assumes a temporary phase. Its just hard to actually pull yourself out. Nonetheless, I really appreciate you sharing an alternative perspective of the place I reside in, aka the "dump." Your cyberspace dump comment made me laugh. I loved your stories about the non-stereotypical brilliant people you've met in unlikely places. It is inspiring and it gives me hope that are interesting people here. I just need to open my mind up...after all, an entire country cannot have 0 decent people. Its statistically impossible. And about finding the right guy, I friend back home would completely agree with you. She keeps telling me to have faith that things always work out for the best. I just need to pursue the things that make me happy, stay cool, and let things unfold.  |