Wow, Angela so completely "gets" it. Incredible advice. (Where were you when I was 20??
)
May I add a few subtle things for cheech, because you sound like me just a few years ago and maybe I can save you some time/effort: As you build yourself this cool life, as you interact with girls..., How can I say this... This sounds blunt, but: Don't brag on yourself. Ever.** Never
try to impress a girl. Never mention how cool your car is or how great you are at rock climbing or whatever, even if you are a freekin world champion. Just let her be impressed by observing you directly, or by your friends bragging on you. (And if you're cool, they will -- they'll want everybody to know they're associate with such a cool guy.)
Reason I say that is this: I had a pretty wonderful life (except for women, heh), incredible hobbies, great job, even one or two minor celebrity friends, etc., and I thought the way to get women to like me was to trumpet my success... or at least mention it off-handedly. I figured as long as what I said about myself was true, I wasn't lying, and they needed to know about it to know how cool I was, right? Wrong. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I was like, dammit I've built a cool life, I'm such a great guy, but where is everybody??
At some point, I just decided... yeah people are probably tired of hearing about me, and I just shut up about myself and adopted a little humility. And wow, what a difference. Not rock-star success or anything, but better than ever before in my life. Today, looking back, I understand that bragging on myself betrayed massive, deep-down insecurity -- I was trying to convince girls that I was cool, because I wasn't sure myself. And I've also learned that insecurity kills attraction faster than anything. When I quashed that behavior, my success increased dramatically. And I'm finding, perhaps counter-intuitively, that the more humble I am, the more I try to pump up people around me and sincerely make them feel better about themselves (simply spreading the love as it were, including not only friends but total strangers as well), the more successful I am with women.
I just look back at myself and go, wow I was such an idiot!! I'm hoping that you, and anybody else reading this can learn from my mistakes.
Also, get a handle on your body language. You could be subcommunicating low value (unattractiveness to women) without even knowing it. To be honest, I did this for the first 30 years of my life. David DeAngelo has done some excellent work on this subject if you want some pointers. Combine strong, alpha-male body language with a humble, genuine, loving demeanor... dude, women seem to really respond to that. (I know: "Go figure", right?? hehe)
**
If you're not doing this, please don't take offense -- I may "projecting" my own experience/behavior on you a bit. After all, I don't know you, and I've never seen you bragging on yourself, so you might already have this nailed. If that's the case, keep on doin' what you're doin' and ignore lil ole me! I'm trying to relate something that's really helped me and I wish I'd started (not) doing a lot sooner.