Hiya, Cheech! Congratulations on taking steps to be what you want to be. Getting fit, taking care with your appearance, and looking boldly at who you are being that your life is occurring for you the way it is -- that is wonderful!
Would you want to go out with you, Cheech? Your post gives me a feeling of such... weight, as if you were still holding onto that old 30 pounds. You might not realize that what you've expressed here -- the feeling that dating is like pulling teeth, oh so difficult and taxing -- is being expressed in your actual dating attempts, and women are very good at feeling men's vibes!
I know that "heavy" is not who you are. Who you are is loving, generous, abundance, power, and infinite joy. You will be a fabulous LLTMBR partner. And to attract the right girl, the most important thing is to be the right guy. Actually BE the person you would enjoy spending time with. I recommend that you get back into the zone of loving your life -- remember the resolve it took to lose that poundage and to take care of your beard, etc.? Slip back into that resolve, and use it to build a life that you are head over heels in love with, regardless of whether you have a lover or not. Make a list of 30 activities that would light you up, and do them all in one month, or two, or whatever inspires you. Take dancing lessons for singles, or learn to cook Indonesian food, or join a running club, or go to Zanzibar. Whatever it is that would ignite your spark and have you feeling gleeful about your own experience.
You might want to write a list of the qualities you want to find in your perfect woman, and then go ahead and BE those qualities. Why wait for them?
Being in love with your own life is the best way to be a planet around which magnificent women will orbit. That's the kind of "gravity" you want, right?
Lots of love,