First of all, let me say, that you're doing great! Even when you think you're stuck, you get experience and results. The results are just not the ones you want. Let's try to find out why it is so...
Your post is quite wordy, but still I feel, that some pieces of your puzzle are missing.
You still use alcohol. You make friends easy, when drunk, right? What about girls? Is it different? If yes, in which way?
What about girls you meet through your life (co-workers, hobby partners in club and so on)? How do you communicate with them? Is it easier, or you're still "pulling teeth"?
As for internet dating site - I think, something is wrong with your profile. It's quite easy to meet someone there. Very easy. But the problem is not inside you. Anyone can do this, no matter what. Can I have a look at your profile?
I feel I can help you. But I may need some personal details (my questions already ask about them). Send me an e-mail (better) or a PM, if you don't want to make them public and if you want some "personal coaching" from me.
Good luck!
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