Empathy is useful when you want to connect with and understand the person you are talking to more easily. Most of the time, though, I find I do better if I keep it off or low. Absorbing too much of other people's emotion and energy was bad for me, and if you're not careful, it can make you sick (as you are already discovering with the headaches, etc). For me, using empathy in a safe and healthy way is about making a choice—not a head choice, "I think I want to turn my empathy off 'cause someone said it is a good idea," but a heart/spirit/energy choice: "Taking care of myself and my energy is important to me, so I will turn my empathy off."
When I say that I turn it off I don't mean that I become unfeeling or cold-hearted; instead I am able to interact with people without taking on their "stuff." And as I said above, I choose to tune into people occasionally when I feel I can do so safely.
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