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Originally Posted by The Cloud  Haha, I feel so presumptuous giving advice to a woman that has persevered through things that I can hardly even conceive (like raising a kid alone), and a woman older than me at that! |
You have *much* to offer! We each bring our own experiences and gifts - yours may look different than mine, but it's not less valuable, or a reason to not speak up. I remember being in my mid-20s and wishing people would listen to me! I had a lot of wisdom (not being a smartass -- I genuinely did!), but people would dismiss me because of my lack of life experience. I know now I was creating that particular scenario, but then, it was frustrating! So I remain open-minded, no matter the source. Especially being around unschooled teens, I see how much everyone has something to offer.
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Originally Posted by The Cloud Once you learn that you can figure out the basis for your feelings, it becomes almost addictive. And there is always going to be something you have to fix before you feel you can really move past it and get on with your life. This was what happened to me, and eventually it taught me that you can only fix things to a certain point. You will always be generating some kind of negative or undesirable thoughts and feelings, and it's just not possible to root them all out. And you don't have to, if you separate yourself from them and allow yourself to just let go of the negativity when it comes up. |
I actually learned this by watching a friend of mind do something like that. She had been sexually abused as a child, and I was present for her while she came to terms with that, and explored her history. But I also saw her get into a bad space, then say, "It must be another bad memory coming up" - then she'd stop everything until another horrific memory came to her. She'd feel relief, then the whole pattern would start again. I remember thinking - what would happen if she just *accepted* she felt bad, then move beyond it? Watching her has helped me to not fall into that trap.
It's about taking responsibility. YES, cruddy stuff happened: WHAT NOW? Cruddy stuff happens to people everywhere, every day. I can use it as an excuse, or I can use it to deepen my compassion and awareness and move on.
I have gotten stuck - particularly with money stuff. Money's just a symbol of this deeper thing - so here I am, working it out.
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Originally Posted by The Cloud So what I really mean to say is listen to Angela. |
Amen.