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Originally Posted by carenkh  The Cloud - I really appreciate your post! Here's the thing - I've accepted that I feel this way - mostly. I don't feel worthless, because I believe I'm worthless. (although I've certainly been in that space, and know just what you mean!) It's like... here's this *thing* that has affected so many decisions I've made, and although I would have said, yes, this belief is somewhere inside me... I wasn't in touch with it like I am now. So here's an opportunity to bring it to light, and get clear with the effects that it's had. |
Haha, I feel so presumptuous giving advice to a woman that has persevered through things that I can hardly even conceive (like raising a kid alone), and a woman older than me at that! But I know exactly what you mean. You've spend so long burying the thought with the hope that it will go away that you can't feel it anymore. It's like you know that there is something wrong, and you even have a good idea of what it is, but you can't really feel what it is. You just feel this sort of dead feeling, this wall, where you know you should be feeling something. And then you really feel it, and KNOW what is wrong, and it's just so fantastic just to be able to feel again.
Learn about this. Learn about and understand what you feel, why you feel. Then move beyond it. Feelings and thoughts are too volatile to base yourself on. Once you learn that you can figure out the basis for your feelings, it becomes almost addictive. And there is always going to be something you have to fix before you feel you can really move past it and get on with your life. This was what happened to me, and eventually it taught me that you can only fix things to a certain point. You will always be generating some kind of negative or undesirable thoughts and feelings, and it's just not possible to root them all out. And you don't have to, if you separate yourself from them and allow yourself to just let go of the negativity when it comes up.
So what I really mean to say is listen to Angela.