A note: I am probably going to mostly ignore posts that aren't Angela's right now in this thread. I will go back and read them eventually. Focus! So, Angela if there's something someone writes you want me to read, direct me to it, please.
And - you can call me Caren!
I determined I was worthless because my parents never really talked to ME. They talked to this hypothetical child in their house, but they never knew me. If they had known me and seen me, there's no way they could have hit me, 'cause giiiirrllll... I rocked! I was smart as a whip and sensitive and kind. And they never knew that. Because they just wanted me to do what they wanted me to do. If I did that, I was invisible to them. If I didn't, they'd have to actually talk to me and acknowledge my presence, and that pissed them off.
I can feel "I am worthless" in that light. I lived that. It would have been better if I hadn't been born. I was a trial.