[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

This is awesome. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Yay! Now you get to come up with something inspiring to be instead of that lie of "worthless."

It's perfect that you are attracted to an unavailable and supremely rich guy (although it sucks) because it so poignantly illustrates the sticking point in your life. I would never have imagined you to feel worthless at all as I have found you so full of wisdom and peace and discernment. But that's how it goes, isn't it? From this point of view over here, I see you as quite wealthy in all of the ways that matter so much more than money. I grew up kind of like you are describing and not a lot of people from that environment embrace consentual living and unschooling and etc. I think you have defied the worthlessness that has tried to permeate your life, even though it still feels like it's surrounding you.

Have you ever worked with Angela's model for dealing with these old pain beliefs? If you are familiar with it it's a great tool here. And I know you already know about Katie, etc.

Sorry to be so happy that you are dealing with this crumminess, but I find it so miraculous that we invent such detailed stories and situations to force us to confront the "unconfrontable" in our lives.

I really love you (I feel a bond to you over the Cusack). Big hugs. I can't wait to see what you do with this. I am inspired by you!