[NightSpirit]

Cont....
For a few minutes there, time stopped and it was just God. I can't say it was me and God because I lost all sense of being seperate from Him and this feeling of love and joy rolled into me like a train or an avalanche. My lips were burning and my throat wouldn't make words and for a second I thought I was having a stroke and was about to leave my body and die. Then I knew... that "this was that, that was spoken of by the prophet Joel, and it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh"
The laughter came up out of me from the joy as I had never laughed before. Not like at a joke or at someone or because of something but laughing out loud, just because I was happy. I forgot all about telling the preacher off and just rushed over and hugged him before I left... (there had been a family funeral out of town that he had to attend).
And then on my way home, the other tongues part of it came. There was just a knowing, a sense of Jesus laughing with me and saying "Now you know" over and over again. I laughed for three days, went to bed laughing, woke up laughing, tried to keep from laughing at work and almost got sent for a drug test. Some other Christians knew what it was because they had seen it before but I never had. Just couldn't wait to get home so I could go to my room and pray. The love and the peace and the acceptance I felt were so similar to the near death experiences some describe that I believe they are seeing Jesus also.

I can't do this for anyone else or convince anyone that it happened or what it felt like anymore than I can make someone experience anything else I feel. But I hope someone would understand why my belief in the Bible is from so much more than blind faith, why "Christ in us, the hope of glory.' and "out of their belly shall flow rivers of living water" or "joy unspeakable and full of glory" or Luke 11:13 are not just words on a paper for me anymore.
If laughing and babbling was all there was to it, I might agree that I lost my mind or I made up an experience to comfort me about the existence of God. The experience did comfort me when everything that happened was the same as described in the Bible. But that experience, almost 20 years ago now, was only the beginning.
I could go on and on about the many more miracles I've seen and the gifts of the Spirit and the times God spoke to me or sent me to people who didn't know they were dying or that had been planning their own suicide, unknown to me. I haven't always done what He said and I have made some mistakes and there have been long periods of time that I put other stuff before hearing from God, but there is no way I can ever say that the God I know is not the same one of the Bible.
This one miracle story I am hesitant to share because of your experiences with sickness and death. I am sorry your wife suffered and died and some of my family members have also and I don’t understand everything. I just know that sometimes He does intervene.
Years ago, when my husband and I were praying about a job situation, God interrupted that prayer and told me he had undiagnosed cancer in his chest despite just having been checked out in the hospital a few weeks earlier and being cleared to go back to work that same day.
That they found the cancer on the first appointment when he tried another doctor didn't feel like the blessing it was at the time. When they took out the cancer before it spread and we found out the survival rate was very poor if it had been allowed to spread and no treatment is effective against it, then we started to feel more blessed.
Maybe we were of the lower consciousness religious idiots but we didn't waste a lot of time questioning why God allowed him to get cancer, or why he didn't allow the first doctor to find it or why we and everybody else doesn't hear from God all the time or even asking why we had financial problems because he was sick. We just thanked God and I still do...that He had warned us and spared him the suffering of a painful death and put him back on his feet.
Does it make me sad or mad at God that my mom died 10 years after this of a similar kind of cancer? My mom was one of the ones cursing the man that God had sent to tell her husband wouldn't die and he didn't...so she had a different kind of faith and maybe some blocks of her own. She believed in God but also that God is going to do whatever He wants and prayers are of no use. She didn't want any advice or prayers and wasn't giving any permission for Christians to give her a message from God, so none came.
She died. My then ex-husband, who was 24 years older than me, also died the year before she did, not of any cancer but of COPD, after 9 years of good health. They both went to the same heaven, one in pain, one peacefully. Either way, to me God is still God and is still good.
This has been too long but there is more. I already told about the miracle money for my car repair coming. Maybe if anyone wants to know I'll talk about the murder plot that was stopped or the people who died in peace after God sent me to them by warning me in parayer.
There's just no lack of proof with God in my experience. I am not special and Christians at my church and all over know the same Jesus and I can tell when they talk about it.
If someone is not blocking Him with their beliefs or limitations on what they will allow Him to do and honestly asks and doesn't get an answer, I don't know. It could be an act of mercy because as the Bible says, to whom much is given, much is required. And some people wouldn't want to hear His voice because of their beliefs that they may offend Him or that He only wants to talk to them about that "thing", whatever it is, that they are doing, which I think I could help someone unblock also and maybe they could help me since I'm still not perfect. Only God knows all the reasons and what's in a person's heart. Or it could be maybe that it's just not the right time yet.
Honest questions from a desire to know, I think God can handle. But some of what goes on here on these threads, not you Bob, comes quite close to tempting God or calling God evil or ridiculing the sincere way people try to serve Him. To me, that is sad and doesn't seem to be smart.